Once you’ve decided to be a dominant, you need to consider the Dominant Roles in Kink. First, we’ll go through the roles of a dominant, and then in a separate page we’ll be exploring doms and subs in much more detail.
Dominant Roles In Kink
Guide To Dominating In The Bedroom | What Makes A Dominant
We’d like to preface this by stating that there are no firm rules as to what kind of role that you need to take, or even how to project that role. All this is, is our personal framework that might help you identify a role and work out how to fit that within yourself, and your own role.
There is certainly nothing wrong with experimenting with a variety of different roles to see which one suits both you, and your submissive. And to that end, there are endless possibilities as to the types of roles you can assume. We have just listed some of the more prevalent styles of dominance.
1. The Daddy/Mommy Dom
This refers to a dominant that takes on a more parenting role. It is on par with the majority of subs who consider themselves to be littles, adult babies and so on and so forth. Even if there’s no overarching theme, or explicit theme, of parental or child role play. Many of the more nurturing types of dominants will fall under this category. These types of dominants will generally excel at aftercare, negotiation and the respecting of limits. They’re also great at being gentle with their submissive as well.
Generally they will be a stern disciplinarian when they need to be. But this however is usually limited to the same kinds of parental discipline that’s typical of home and school as opposed to heavy bondage and play. Most new members to the kink culture will fall in this category until they develop confidence and their own stride. This type of style is well suited to more timid or young imprinted submissive. But some other submissives might find this type of dominant to be far too indulgent, and touchy.
2. The Militant / Management Dom
These types of dominants are focused with rules. They love rules, and they expect their submissive to abide by their rules. In fact, this type of dominant will usually ask little more than that their sub follows their rules, rituals and regulations to the very last letter. They gravitate and get on well with subs that crave control, or strict structure and routine in their lives.
These types of dominants are more likely to use contracts. And stick to organisational routines and supplements such as schedules, to do lists, formal rules of address and respect. Or to the following of some tradition or other such as the Gorean Style. Consistency is their game, and they keep their partner on a tight leash, and following high protocol. Some submissives want this type of dom. But if they’re just in it for the play they may not get on well together for long.
3. The Mentor /Sensei Dom
These are the dominants that care more about their submissives training and development than playing for the sake of playing. Being in a position of power allows for being in the position to help mould the sub into the best person that they can be. Mentor dominants are more looking for long term commitments from their sub, than just a play mate.
A mentor dominant might set rules such as reading, gym training, or learning. Because this type of dom wants a healthy mind in a sound body. Submissives who are looking for a transient play partner may not be interested in long term doms such as this.
4. Hedonist / Sadist Dom
This is the counterpart to the sensation seeking sub. A hedonist is in it for being in charge, but mostly because having their own sex slave that gratifies their ever whim is a huge and exciting thrill. Their natural play partners are those that are into heavy pain play, emotional masochists, or endorphin junkies. They heavily emphasize play and play time. And are more likely to seek the full gratification of every single one of their desire and kinky fantasies.
Interestingly, they’re also more likely to be switches as there’s often little difference to doing something, or having it done to you. While hedonist thrill seekers are perfect complement to masochists. Subs who are in it more for the service or control, may not get on well with these doms.